Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
