No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
