Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
