I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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