fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
