I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
