He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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