in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
