It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
the liver wants what the liver wants
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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