i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
