YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You did what with his pubic hair?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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