my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
