I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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