the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
