those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
