Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
