It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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