living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
