i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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