porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
