Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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