THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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