what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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