C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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