I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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