No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
