My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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