very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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