Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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