I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
