I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
