i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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