Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
