i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize