captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
