It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
