Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize