and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
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