Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
