Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize