She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
