I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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