Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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