you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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