Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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