At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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