I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
