it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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