Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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