If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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