If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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