Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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