I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
