and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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