i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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