I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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