Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
