Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
