where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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